


Shadows Have More to Say

by koios



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Agni Kai (Avatar), Book 3: Fire, Gen, Hakoda (Avatar) is a Good Parent, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Minor Bato/Hakoda (Avatar), Multi, Ozai (Avatar) Being a Terrible Parent, Ozai (Avatar) is an Asshole, Post-Episode: s03e14-15 The Boiling Rock, Toph Beifong and Zuko are Siblings, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Western Air Temple, Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck, Zuko's Scar (Avatar), aka Zuko, dadkoda, no beta we die like lu ten, who doesnt know how to deal with shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-10-02
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:53:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26781709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/koios/pseuds/koios
Summary: Hakoda never expected to be broken out of prison, let alone by his son and his son’s ex arch enemy. Said arch enemy is somehow the most awkward person he’s ever met and every time Hakoda tries to talk to him, he disappears.Literally.
Relationships: Bato/Hakoda (Avatar), Hakoda & Katara (Avatar), Hakoda & Sokka (Avatar), Hakoda & Zuko (Avatar), Hakoda/Kya (Avatar), Ozai/Prison, Toph Beifong & Zuko
Comments: 88
Kudos: 2361
Collections: Avidreaders ATLA completed faves, avatar tingz, best of avatar, zuko best boi





	Shadows Have More to Say

Most people looking in on Kya and Hakoda’s relationship would have assumed she was the one more likely to rescue baby otter penguins, or let Katara and Sokka keep the various wild animals they dragged in from the tundra. Those people would be wrong. Not that Kya never softened and let them do what they wanted after some tearful begging - she rarely ever denied anything in need - but on at least one occasion, Hakoda had joined his kids in the tearful begging department, because ‘spirits, Kya, it’s just one polar bear puppy, and it’s hurt, please let us keep it’.

The polar bear puppy rapidly became a polar bear dog, and even more rapidly became a nuisance. The ensuing custody battle between their newest addition and a very angry mother polar bear dog was a story for another day, but at least everyone left un-maimed and with suitable members of their own species.

The point was, Hakoda had a habit of adopting essentially every child he crossed paths with, human or not. And now he was in crisis mode, because he’d been at the Western Air Temple for two days and there were just. So. Many. Children.

How on earth was he going to fit this many kids around a dinner table? Because they were all coming to family dinners now, and it sounded like very few had good adult role models. The Duke could be no older than ten, and someone had let him run around with a sword, for La’s sake! And taking that sword away from him, and the ensuing furious tantrum, were not something Hakoda was eager to repeat.

Thankfully Teo and Haru both had fathers, and a mother in Haru’s case, but he couldn’t just exclude them, could he? Maybe he could at least count them out of more frequent family activities. But the other kids needed good parenting - how many times would he have to go ice dodging? How would he take a blind girl ice dodging? Because he certainly had no intention of missing Toph, but she had expressed hatred for boats, so.. could he take her rock dodging and say it was the same thing? And great, now he’d lost count of how many there were. 

In short, Hakoda was not having a good time. 

But he was also having a great time, because he was back with Sokka and Katara, and the agony of not knowing where they were or if they were okay was fading. He had missed them so much it was a constant ache in his chest, a gnawing panic that he’d never see his amazing daughter and wonderful son again. The Day of Black Sun was as dark a memory for him as the Fire Nation. Watching them fly away had left a sharp, cold feeling in his chest, but thank the spirits, they were safe. And now they were back, and he only had to glance down the hall to reassure his panic when dark thoughts crossed his mind. 

He was home; they were here. At first, he had been scared things would have changed. And they had, but not in all the ways he’d feared. The conversation he’d had with Katara on the ship leaving Chameleon Bay had made him hyper aware of the fact he’d left them. But they no longer seemed to be upset about it, even Katara with her famous ability to hold grudges. Sometimes Sokka still looked at him like he had at five, clumsily following him around the village, wide eyed and endlessly enthusiastic.  
They had both changed, grown up far too fast, though. He couldn’t quite hold back the sadness when he saw them training, or planning, or talking about the huge burden the world had so cruelly placed on their shoulders. Sokka was a tactician, and an amazing one, but also just sixteen. At fourteen, Katara was a waterbending master, proficient in combat he’d hoped she’d never have to learn. The war had changed them - forced them to change. And Hakoda loved them so much, but seeing them wear the expressions of seasoned warriors felt like a blow to the chest.

They were just kids. They were all just kids. It hadn’t really hit him until they arrived back from the Boiling Rock. The Avatar - Aang, and Tui and La, he was just twelve - was practically buzzing with excitement to see them all back, and it struck Hakoda how much like Sokka and Katara he was. Or how they had been, once, before Kya was gone. He remembered that look on Sokka’s face the first time they went hunting, and on Katara’s the first time she bent water.

The master of the elements, beacon of peace, world’s last hope, was a child. It was impressive, in a sad sort of way, that he’d maintained such innocence and kindness. That any of them had. War was supposed to be an adult’s problem, but these were the warriors destined to defeat the Fire Lord and end the war. A group of kids, the oldest of whom was sixteen.  
Thinking about it left Hakoda with a headache and a pit in his stomach.

———

Aang was the easiest to get through to, other than Katara and Sokka. He was bright and easygoing, with almost endless energy and enthusiasm. At first he was a little nervous around Hakoda, but he quickly realised it was just the boy’s very unsubtle crush on his daughter. They’d probably have to address that at some point, but for now Hakoda just smiled and remembered how he used to look at Kya. 

After seeing Suki kidnap a prison warden and fight a chi-blocking super acrobat, it was hard to see her as a child, but she reminded him of Katara in that way. She was a warrior, though had apparently started even younger. He doubted attempts to look after her like the other kids would go down well - but she still laughed and joked and acted like a teenager when she wasn’t fighting with that deadly precision. Seeing her - seeing any of them - acting their age was a warm, beautiful moment.

The Duke, even after Hakoda has confiscated his sword, was quick to warm up to him. They had finally agreed that he could keep the weapon, but only during the lessons he was getting from some of the older boys. The kid had frowned and pouted, but eventually agreed. He was an odd mix of adorable and violent, but in Hakoda’s experience with children, that just came with the territory. Katara had once pulled down the igloo in a fit of preadolescent rage - at least The Duke wasn’t a bender.

Toph was the most intimidating child he had ever encountered, but thankfully he seemed to be in her good graces. She was loud and stubborn, and also possibly the best earthbender in the world (in her own words). She was also staunchly against being parented. It had taken him only a day to realise that anything she saw as condescending or controlling would be quickly shot down, usually physically, with a well aimed rock. He learned a lot quicker once the projectiles started. But she was also twelve, and a tiny, adorable child (even if she threatened to beat up anyone who so much as suggested it). Most oddly of all, she seemed to have decided to stick to Prince Zuko like glue.

Because Prince Zuko, heir to the throne of the Fire Nation, was here too. And he had apparently switched sides after mercilessly hunting his children for months, and then helped break Hakoda and Suki out of prison. He was still struggling to process that, mostly because the kid was nothing like the angry soldier from Katara and Sokka’s stories. He was awkward and quiet, and had probably only spoken ten words to Hakoda the whole time he’d been there.

And every time Hakoda tried to strike up conversation, he disappeared.

———

The first attempt was a few hours after they’d got back from the prison, and Zuko and Aang were quickly going over the progress the Avatar had made in his teacher’s absence. Hakoda waited at the side of the courtyard, waiting for them to finish. Watching firebending when it wasn’t being thrown in his face was nice - he could see the art in bending, the almost dance like movements. Fire was oddly beautiful. 

When Zuko looked up and noticed him, he startled and nearly set his shirt on fire. Mumbling an apology to Aang, they resumed training, but Zuko looked nervous, flicking occasional glances over to Hakoda. Katara had once been shy of bending in front of people when she first started, and it struck Hakoda for the first time that Prince Zuko was a child, like the rest of them.

The scar, he realised uncomfortably, had made him forget. It was large and painful looking, deeper even than the burns on Bato’s arm. And it seemed to twist his face into a scowl, which was probably why people were so intimidated by him. That and his terrifying combat skills.

He couldn’t help but notice some smaller scars - mostly, but not all, burns - on his arms. He knew firebending was dangerous, but they were oddly... precise. Almost uniform little red and white marks on his upper arms, where they would be covered by most shirts. The skin around one of his wrists looked burned and healed too, but the injury looked deeper.  
They looked intentional.  
He didn’t want to dwell on that thought too long.

When the boys were done, Hakoda went over, meaning to talk to both of them. He had just greeted Aang and complimented him on his firebending when he looked up and realised Zuko was gone. Which was weird, but pretty impressive that he got away so quickly and quietly. He probably thought Hakoda wanted to talk to Aang alone.  
Little did he know, that was just the start.

———

He didn’t see Zuko until the next morning, when the prince was mysteriously absent from dinner. Katara had muttered something that didn’t sound very complimentary under her breath, but nothing further was said. Hakoda was quickly distracted by the crazy stories his kids were telling him.  
He had never heard the words ‘assassin who blows things up with his mind’ spoken so casually.

When morning rolled around, Toph physically dragged Zuko to breakfast and then demanded he carry her around the temple when they were done. She loudly announced that it was only because her feet were healing and he was a human heat pack. Seeing the Fire Prince giving a twelve year old a piggyback was surreal, but Hakoda couldn’t stop himself from smiling. 

———

It only became clear Zuko was avoiding him later that day. There were a few more occasions Hakoda tried to get him alone to talk, but the prince managed to slip away each time before Hakoda could even open his mouth. It was weird, because Zuko didn’t seem to be the smug prince he had been expecting, and Hakoda was pretty sure he hadn’t done anything to upset or annoy the kid to the point of avoiding him.

At lunch, he sat closer to Zuko’s usual spot near the fire, and met his eyes for a split second when he walked in. The boy sat down a few spaces away, far from his usual seat. So the prince was definitely avoiding him. Now he just needed to figure out why.

———

The next attempt to speak to the prince was just confusing. Hakoda had heard him and Toph talking in a room on the side of the temple - it didn’t sound too important, so he knocked on the wall outside and stepped in, to see-

Toph. Sitting alone against the wall, with a suspiciously wide grin on her face. She was also far too close to the edge for his comfort - who designed this temple with three-walled rooms looking out over the cliff side? Weren’t children raised here?

“Can I help you?” She was definitely trying not to laugh.

“Oh, uh, no. Have you seen Prince Zuko? I wanted to talk to him,”

“Sparky? Last I saw him was at lunch.”

Okay, that was definitely a lie, but he couldn’t exactly call her out on it.

“Thanks, could you let him know when you next see him?”

“Eh, he’ll probably drop in later. I’ll talk to him if I see him.”

“Right... thanks.”

The earthbender gave him a thumbs up. As Hakoda stepped out into the corridor, he heard her burst out laughing. What in La’s name just happened?

———

At dinner, Toph was leaning against Zuko and giggling every few minutes. The prince looked absolutely mortified, and was resolutely staring at the ground, but no one seemed to know what happened. Katara, who was still determined to pretend Zuko wasn’t there unless she was yelling at him, glared at the cooking pot like it had personally offended her. Sokka, Aang and Suki kept shooting the pair curious looks, but neither of them said anything.

Eventually the group fell into conversation, telling stories that were both fascinating and terrifying. His kids had been at two active volcanoes? At this rate, was going to have a heart attack before they got anywhere near the Fire Lord.

“So we started climbing the volcano - no, dad, it was totally safe - and then when we got to the top, it was all bubbling and lava-y, so-“

“That’s your idea of safe?” Hakoda asked incredulously.

“Okay, so maybe not exactly ‘safe’ safe, but anyway.”

“What I still don’t know is why you decided to climb it,” Katara cut in.

“Well there were these panda-lily fl-“

“-spirits! The spirits told me to do it!” Aang cut in, flushing bright red, “Avatar stuff, it’s a long story!”

Sokka raised an eyebrow, but continued. “So we started climbing down, well I did, because Aang had his magic air stuff, and-“

This time he was cut off by Toph, laughing hysterically.

“Uh, Toph? This story is about a village almost being destroyed by a volcano.”

The earthbender just shook her head, giggling uncontrollably into Zuko’s shoulder. The prince was still staring at the ground, clearly wanting to be anywhere but here.

“What’s so funny?” Aang asked.

“No-nothing,” she choked out, “Uh, Sparky and I ha-have to go sort something out.”

Then she grabbed him by the arm and pulled him out of the room, still trying to catch her breath between fits of laughter.

“What... what was that about?” Katara asked, seeming to temporarily forget her determination to pretend Zuko wasn’t there.

“Not a clue,” Sokka said, “anyway, this volcano! So we...”

———

By the time they returned, the group were done eating, just sitting around the fire and talking. They weren’t even halfway through retelling their adventures, and Hakoda was fairly sure he would have several new grey hairs by the time they were done. There were just so many volcanoes, and angry spirts and near brushes with the Fire Nation. It was odd to hear Katara talk about Zuko as a dangerous, violent enemy (with ‘the worst ponytail I’ve ever seen’ according to Sokka) when Hakoda could only picture him as the awkward teenager that was so determinedly avoiding him.

Toph and Zuko reappeared just as the kids were describing the Siege of the North. The earthbender was still smirking slightly at a joke only she seemed to get.

“And Zuko was there, but I’m not sure how - hey Zuko! How did you get into the North Pole? Wasn’t that when the Fire Navy started trying to arrest you?”

“Oh, yeah.” The firebender said with a shrug as they approached the fire, “I just swam under the walls.”

There were several beats of silence.

“You... you swam?” Sokka said slowly.

“Yeah, I saw some turtle seals diving and figured they had to come up for air somewhere.”

Hakoda was developing a very intense headache.

“Turtle seals can hold their breaths for thirty minutes,” he said faintly, “you did know that, right?”

Zuko looked a little uncertain at talking to Hakoda for essentially the first time, but gave a small nod. “There was an air hole in the cave anyway. And I can hold my breath for about ten minutes so it wasn’t too bad in the end.”

“Does firebending training cover that?” Sokka asked.

“No, growing up with Azula does.”

“Water at the poles is cold enough to give you pneumonia ten times over. You could have died,” Hakoda said, trying not to yell and feeling like no one else was taking this a seriously as they should.

Toph snorted. “That doesn’t even make top ten of the dumbest thing Sparky’s done.”

That was not at all reassuring. Toph coughed, but it sounded awfully like ‘tried to fight the sky’. Hakoda did not ask. 

“Yeah,” Sokka said, “didn’t you jump off that tower on your ship to try to catch Aang on, like, the first day we met you?”

“It wasn’t that high,” Zuko said, “and I had practice with stuff like that too.”

He didn’t want to know. He didn’t need to know. Asking would be- “How?”

“There were lots of tall building and trees around when I was growing up. And Azula liked pushing me.”

“Siblings,” Sokka said lightly, like this conversation wasn’t heart attack inducing.

“What did your parents say?” Hakoda asked, before suddenly realising that the only parent he knew Zuko had was Fire Lord Ozai. He winced, but Zuko wasn’t looking at him anymore.

“There wasn’t much my mother could do while she was still there,” - and that sounded like a story in itself - “And my father would probably tell me to jump off something taller.”

Only Toph and Zuko laughed. Even Katara looked as mildly disturbed as everyone else.

“This isn’t what I meant,” Sokka said, sounding horrified, “when I told you to get a sense of humour.”

“You created a monster, Snoozles,” Toph said airily.

———

Part of Hakoda had hoped that Zuko would be easier to find and/or talk to after that, but no. What followed was the most perplexing two days of his life. He would be doing something around the temple, notice Zuko walk past and try to catch up with him to talk. Every time, without fail, the prince would vanish into thin air. By the time Hakoda had turned the corner or stepped into the room, it was empty.

He was either hallucinating or Zuko was some kind of ghost. He had thought that maybe Zuko was using some of the side tunnels around the temple, but he could never find any evidence of passages or side rooms. The only consolation he wasn’t going insane was that Toph seemed to know what was going on. She knew everything, he quickly learned; every time he came back after failed attempt to talk to the Prince, she would be quietly laughing to herself. He had tried to talk to her about it once, but she just shrugged and walked away.  
Not quite the answer he was looking for.

“You looking for Zuko?”

He turned to see Sokka, walking past with his sword.

“Yeah, have you seen him?”

“He’s in the upper courtyard, we were going to spar. You can come if you want. What did you want to talk to him about?”

“I just wanted to thank him for helping us at the Boiling Rock,” Hakoda said, falling into step beside Sokka.

“You haven’t talked to him yet?”

“I haven’t been able to,” he admitted, “I think he’s avoiding me.”

“Don’t worry, he avoids pretty much everyone,” Sokka shrugged, which was honestly a relief, “I still don’t know where he sleeps at night. He only seems to get on really well with Toph.”

They rounded the corner into the courtyard to a call of “Sorry Snoozles, I’m stealing your swordbending buddy!”

Toph and Zuko were standing around the edge of the courtyard, the prince looking far more apologetic than the earthbender. She didn’t look apologetic at all, in fact, grabbing Zuko’s hand and pulling him past them and back into the corridor.

“What? Why?” Sokka demanded.

“I’m teaching the Avatar earthbending. I need him, I can’t risk the world being destroyed because Aang doesn’t learn one move.”

“Use someone else!” Sokka cried, “There’s no one here I can train sword fighting with!”

“Sorry Sokka,” Zuko said awkwardly, trying to pull his arm out of Toph’s grip to no avail, “we could practice tomorrow?”

When they disappeared around the corner, Sokka let out a huff. “Damn benders and their stupid bending.”

Hakoda was starting to wonder if the universe was in on the conspiracy to make sure he never got to talk to Zuko.

“We could go watch?” He suggested, “It would do you good to learn about bending styles in case you need to fight against them.”

Sokka perked up. “Yeah, then I can beat them up for stealing my training partner!”

“Or you could do it to learn how to combat several types of opponents and get a broader understanding of fighting styles...”

“Nah, I’m gonna beat them up.”

“Fair enough.”

———

When the got to the training grounds, Aang was blindfolded. He didn’t know enough about earthbending to say if this was necessary or not, but it seemed to just be a Toph thing. 

“If you want to learn proper earthbending, you need to listen to the earth first,” Toph was saying as they sat down on the edge of her impromptu arena, “which means no peeking!”

Aang sheepishly pulled his hand away from the edge of the blindfold.

“Listen and feel. Before you do anything, know what everyone else is doing. How many people are here?”

Aang frowned. “Um... five I think. You and Zuko are here, and Haru was watching. And... two? More people just came in.”

Toph stamped down, sending him off balance as the rock below him shifted. “Hey! What was that for?”

“That’s memory, not earth sense, dunderhead. Although good job on recognising that two people came in. Now tell me who they are.”

The Avatar sighed, but crouched to put his palms to the ground. “I think... Sokka? I don’t know how you tell people apart like this.”

Toph rolled her eyes, which she probably shouldn’t have known how to do. But Hakoda was past the point of wondering how Toph knew things.

“Everyone is different.” Toph said, “You can feel their size and shape, and sometimes their heartbeats too. For example, Sparky is almost constantly on the verge of a heart attack. It’s pretty unnerving when you’re trying to sleep.”

Zuko made to protest, but Toph just threw a rock at him. “Quiet, my student is learning! You’re loud enough just being here.”

“Neutral jing,” she said, turning back to Aang, “wait and listen and the earth will tell you what you need to know.”

“It’s...” Aang furrowed his brow, “Chief Hakoda?”

“Good job!” Toph said, punching him in the arm in what was apparently a congratulatory gesture, “Now onto the hard stuff.”

“Can we please stick to the easy stuff?”

“Not a chance, Twinkletoes.” She gestured to Zuko without turning around. “You go hide somewhere. Start easy.”

Zuko nodded and disappeared around the corner, and Hakoda noted how silently he moved. That certainly explained part of the vanishing act.

“Alright,” Toph said after a moment, touching her fingertips to the ground, “tell me where he is.”

Aang was quiet for a moment, deep in concentration, then “The next room over, in the doorway.”

He got another celebratory punch. Toph slid her foot across the ground, sending a ripple in Zuko’s direction. Then a thud and an annoyed “Ow! Just yell at me next time!”

“Somewhere harder this time!” She called.

The practice went on for almost an hour. It was fascinating to watch, even if Hakoda would never experience the bending on display. Toph’s ability in the face of her disability was amazing, and she seemed even more capable than a lot of the sighted people he’d met (like Bato, who managed to walk into two doorframes in a row after a night of drinking at a port). Aang was learning fast too, tracking down the firebender faster and faster each time. 

“Okay, now the hard part.”

“That wasn’t the hard part?”

“That was the baby part.” She sent out another pulse of earth, and after a moment Zuko reappeared.

“Okay Sparky, hide somewhere creative.”

“Creative?”

“You know what I mean, dumbass.”

Zuko shrugged and left again, Toph carefully tracking him with a smile on her face.

“Okay, Twinkletoes, go.”

The smile disappeared off Aang’s face after about a minute. He pressed both palms down, then tried standing, then sending out little waves of earth around him.

Then big waves of earth, that produced an annoyed yell from where Katara was cooking.

The grin on Toph’s face was steadily growing.

“I can’t find him.” Aang said finally.

“Don’t worry, didn’t expect you to. I’ve been wanting to see if that worked on other earthbenders.”

“Wait, you can’t either?” Aang asked incredulously.

“Of course I can,” she shrugged, “but it took me ages to figure it out.” 

She stamped down, sending another ripple out.

“So where was he?” Aang asked.

Toph just smirked. “Figure it out.”

———

Hakoda was now ninety percent sure Zuko was a ghost or something, and ten percent very confused. 

———

The prince was once again nowhere to be seen that evening.  
He had appeared for dinner (courtesy of Toph’s violent insistence), quietly helped to clear up outside of Katara’s ‘accidental’ water whip range and then disappeared at some point. The ghost theory was gaining a concerning amount of evidence, because Hakoda lost sight of him for a few seconds when he turned to talk to Aang, and then he was gone. He vaguely remembered Sokka mentioning that he didn’t sleep in the same area as the others.  
Hakoda resigned himself to another day of being apparently outsmarted by a teenager tomorrow.

Sleeping surrounded by other people was something he’d never thought he’d miss. The Boiling Rock was practically the first time he’d been totally alone at night - it was either his family back home, the crew on his ship, Bato in his tent whenever they camped on land. Bato, who snored incessantly and swore up and down that it was actually Hakoda. But yes, he’d missed it. Even though it was now Sokka snoring (some things he’d never escape).

He laid his bedroll down a few feet away from the kids, and suddenly felt like it was ten years ago, looking at his children tucked up to sleep with Kya’s hand on his shoulder. He pushed back the sharp pang of loss, and fixed his gaze on Katara, curled up in her sleeping bag, and Sokka spreading out like a starfish, limbs everywhere. This still felt like home. He still had his kids, still had the ghost of Kya’s touch in the back of his mind. She would have laughed softly, brushed Katara’s hair out of her face and pressed a kiss to Sokka’s forehead, then laid down next to him and tucked herself into his side. 

The thought didn’t hurt as much as it had before, not as much as he’d expected. He wasn’t over her, he never would be, but he felt something like peace. He had Sokka and Katara and a temple full of children who needed him, even if most of them wouldn’t admit it. The war had taken Kya from him and their children, but that didn’t mean he had to stand back and let it take even more. If that raid had taken him instead of her, she would have stayed strong for her family and her tribe, like he had done his best to do. She would have been so proud of what her children had become.  
Some days it hurt more than others, but he liked to think about Kya watching from the spirit world. He knew her well enough to know the fond smile she would wear when Katara mastered her bending, and Sokka announced his genius plan for the Day of Black Sun. And maybe it was wishful thinking, but he could almost see that same look on her face when he finally talked to Bato and figured out exactly what they were.

She would be laughing at him now. She’d probably offer advice, but she would definitely laugh first. And roll her eyes at Hakoda’s determination to look after anything remotely child-like in a ten mile radius. Kya had always been great with kids, an instinct he was seeing every day in Katara.  
And yeah, she would have definitely managed to talk to one kid in less than a day. For all of her gentleness, she had a cunning streak, and she would solve the vanishing act mystery in an hour tops.

He was half asleep when Toph stirred from across the courtyard, dropping open the door of her rock tent.

“Everything okay, kid?” He called quietly, glancing around to see if anyone else had woken up.

She let out a soft chuckle, making her way to the edge of the courtyard.

“It’s fine, go back to sleep.” He could hear the smile in her voice, and was torn between getting answers or getting sleep. 

“Toph?” Katara asked sleepily, “What happened?”

“I just figured something out. I’ll tell you in the morning.”

Then she was gone, and Hakoda decided the greatest earthbender in the world didn’t really need supervision. And he didn’t need a rock related injury for suggesting it.

———

Toph didn’t return until the morning, with a tired looking Fire Prince in tow. Well, being dragged behind her in a vice like grip. A grin he now recognised as dangerous was plastered over her face.

“Morning, Toph,” Katara said brightly, pointedly not acknowledging Zuko. That was something he should probably talk to her about at some point.

“Good morning, Sifu Toph, Sifu Hotman-“

“No one has used that word in a hundred years, Aang,” Zuko protested.

“That’s not very flamin’ of them.”

Before Zuko could respond, Sokka cut in.

“What happened last night, Toph? You just ran off.”

That huge grin reappeared, and she strode over to the group, not letting go of Zuko’s wrist. Judging by his general look of ‘I want to be anywhere but here’, this somehow involved him.

“So philosophical question, if an idiot falls out of a tree in a forest and no one’s there to hear it, does it really make a sound?”

“Wait, what was Zuko doing in a tree in the middle of the night?”

“She didn’t say it was me!” Zuko snapped.

“It was Zuko,” Toph supplied helpfully, “I figured out where Fire Flake over here has been sleeping.”

Hakoda was going to ask Katara if her waterbending healing could do anything for chronic stress induced headaches.

———

In the end, Toph took pity on him. If his crew ever found out he’d needed the help of a twelve year old blind girl to talk to a kid, he’s be a laughingstock. Until they met Toph and Zuko - then they’d take pity on him too.

“You’re never going to figure it out if you carry on like this.”

He looked up from where he was sitting, now watching Sokka and Suki spar, to see Toph approaching. She dropped down next to him, still smirking slightly.

“Figure what out?”

“Don’t play stupid, I know you’ve been trying to talk to Sparky since you got here. He’s very hard to find when he doesn’t want to be.”

“So he is avoiding me?” Hakoda asked, wondering what he could have done.

“Don’t take it personally. He hasn’t told me why, but I think I know. I can try to get him to talk to you-“

“Thank you, I-“

“On one condition.” She fixed him with a hard look, another thing she probably shouldn’t have known how to do. “Try not to freak him out. He only just started trusting me, and he doesn’t trust you.”

“Oh. I understand.” Hakoda pretended that comment didn’t sting.

“Not like that,” she said, then sighed, “I mean, he doesn’t really trust anyone. It’s not you or anything you’ve done, he’s just scared of you.”

That hurt even more. “He’s scared of me?”

He’d seen the kid fight his own sister, a vicious master firebender, and he was scared of Hakoda?

“Don’t tell him I said that.”

“Right. Thank you, Toph.”

“No problem,” she said, but her smile was small, “you owe me a life debt now, though.”

———

The conversation started badly.  
Really badly. 

Hakoda leaned back against the wall of one of the side rooms, staring at the sky through the open wall, and trying to figure out what to say, because ‘why have you been avoiding me?’ is a bad opener with an kid who’s scared of you. And why was Zuko scared of him? Toph had said he hadn’t done anything, but he must have - he’d seen Zuko fearlessly jump over a boiling lake with a slim chance of surviving, but Hakoda was what scared him? And he couldn’t directly address it, because it would be a) intimidating, b) awkward, and c) probably embarrassing for the kid.

It was a combination of Hakoda’s distraction and Zuko’s uncanny silence when moving that caused... whatever it was that happened.

“Chief Hakoda?”

There was suddenly someone standing next to him - a flash of red - and he instinctively reached for the knife on his belt. The blade was out before his brain caught up to his body, and he was pointing a knife at a very alarmed looking teenager, and Zuko jolted back and tripped -

And misjudged the distance from the side of the cliff. 

Hakoda lunged forward with a yell, trying to catch him before he accidentally killed this child, but he was a split second too late, even with the way time seemed to slow to a crawl.  
A stomach churning moment later, he was kneeling, leaning over the side and trying not to panic.  
Zuko, thank the spirits, had caught onto the side of the cliff a few metres below. Safe, but definitely too far down for Hakoda to pull him back up. 

He hoped the kid already knew the string of curses he let out, because he didn’t want be a bad influence on top of accidentally getting him killed.

“Just hang in there!” Oh fuck, this was not the time for accidental puns. “I’ll get Toph, she can-“

“I can get up on my own,” Zuko called, managing to sound awkward even when literally one misplaced finger away from death. Hakoda didn’t have time to protest before he was pulling himself up. As soon as he was within reach, Hakoda grabbed his wrist to pull him up, which was possibly a mistake, with the way Zuko looked even more nervous. He was more wary of Hakoda helping him up than essentially pushing him off a cliff.

“I’m so sorry-“  
“I’m sorry-“

“Why are you apologising?”

“I startled you, I’m sorry.” Zuko said.

“I pushed you off a cliff.”

“You didn’t actually push me, I just tripped.”

“Off a cliff.”

“I... I’m sorry?”

This conversation was not going the way Hakoda had planned it in his head. Very few things ever did, but just once would be nice.

“Please don’t apologise for me almost killing you.”

“I’m sorry- wait, no, sorry- I mean, fu-“  
Zuko stopped sharply and stared hard at the ground.

“Let’s start this conversation again,” Hakoda suggested. Zuko nodded and looked up, but didn’t quite meet Hakoda’s eyes. He looked nervous, scanning the room like he was looking for an escape route. Right, scared of him.

“I wanted to thank you for helping break Suki and I out of the Boiling Rock, and for everything you’re doing to help the avatar,” he started, and Zuko looked somewhat relieved.

“It’s really nothing, Sokka did all the planning and hard work.” 

“Sokka told me how much you helped. We wouldn’t have made it if it weren’t for you. I know the cooler can’t have been pleasant.”

The prince gave a small shrug, glancing down again. “It wasn’t too bad. My uncle taught me a firebending technique to regulate body temperature.”

“That’s impressive. Most of the firebenders in the prison were terrified of that place.”

“It’s really not that hard,” Zuko said, tense and wary like he thought Hakoda was going to lash out or hurt him.

And, oh, maybe he did. That conversation by the fire came back, and Zuko joking about his father’s apparent apathy towards his safety. He didn’t want to think even someone as cruel as Ozai would cross the line from neglect to abuse, but more and more pieces of the puzzle were slotting into place.

Zuko was scared of him, but not Chit Sang - even though they were both adult men. Chit Sang was a capable firebender, but Hakoda was a father. And that thought hurt.  
And there was the scar across his face, but Hakoda refused to let himself think too deeply into that until he had evidence. But there were also smaller scars he had noticed while the prince was training, that were far too precise to be accidental. The skin around his left wrist (and he realised Toph always, always grabbed him by his right) looked like it had been burned multiple times. Like a firebender had held him by it and burned.  
And even his friendship with Toph, by far one of the strongest bonds he had seen. Toph treated him differently, in several subtle ways. She was open about her parents and her strained relationship with them, commenting a few times on how much they would hate the life she had forged for herself. Zuko didn’t mention his family aside from a few casual comments, but it was clearly a less than ideal situation.

But he was overthinking this. And there was a nervous looking kid in front of him who definitely wouldn’t appreciate a direct question about his home life just to assuage Hakoda’s creeping dread and suspicion. He had to find a way to ask gently, in a way that wouldn’t scare the kid.

“Why have you been avoiding me?” - was literally the worst possible thing to say. 

This conversation was really not going well.

Zuko looked momentarily terrified, then started stammering out an apology.

“Wait, I didn’t mean it like that!”

“I’m sorry,” Zuko said again, quietly, “I meant no disrespect, I-“

“It’s okay,” Hakoda said quickly, trying to figure out how to get through this conversation without digging an even deeper hole for himself, “I just wanted to make sure I hadn’t done anything to make you mistrust me.”

“No, it’s not you!” Zuko said, still looking very much on edge, “I just- I didn’t-“

He stopped himself again, somehow tending up even further.

“I think I know why you don’t trust me,” Hakoda said slowly, holding up a hand when Zuko tried to protest, “and it’s okay. I don’t want to scare you or stress you out, I just wanted to talk to you and sort this out. You can go back to avoiding me after this if you like.”

The joke apparently fell flat, because the kid looked like he was on the verge of a panic attack. That was when Hakoda made his next mistake, and tried to put a hand on his shoulder to comfort him.

It had the exact opposite effect, and Zuko lurched back like he’d been struck. This time, Hakoda saw how close he was to the cliff edge on time, and grabbed him back just in time - and not a second too late, because the kid was moments away from going flying off the edge again. Then he steered him to the middle of the room for good measure, because this was more stressful than any battle he’d been in.

“Can we talk away from the cliff?” Of all the ways he’d pictured this conversation, two brushes with death had never come up.

Zuko nodded stiffly, otherwise completely still. It felt like he was barely breathing until Hakoda let go of his shoulders.

“I’m not trying to accuse you of anything, and I’m not going to hurt you,” - and it felt awful that he even had to clarify that to a child - “I’d like to know why, though, if you’d be willing to tell me.”

“I... I didn’t know what you... what you were like, as a person,” Zuko said almost shakily, and so quietly Hakoda could barely hear him, “and by the time I realised you weren’t - you weren’t like I thought you were, I’d already been avoiding you for ages and it was just... awkward... to say anything. I’m sorry, I just...”

“What did you think I was going to be like?” He asked, not sure he wanted the answer.

“I don’t know, like my- like some other people I know.”

The words ‘like my father’ hung in the air between them, unspoken.

“Have I done anything to make you feel that way?” Another question he didn’t really want to ask, but he had to know.

“No,” Zuko said emphatically, meeting his eyes for the first time, “you never did anything, it was just me.”

Words were suddenly sticking in his throat. He desperately hoped the answer would be no. “Is it because I’m a father? You thought I was going to be like...” - like Ozai, like the Fire Lord - “like your father?”

Zuko’s silence was telling. After a moment he gave a tiny, almost imperceptible nod.  
It wasn’t a surprise, but it still filled him with a cold fury that he quickly pressed down. Getting angry was definitely not the best way to deal with this situation.

“Did he ever hurt you?”

The prince nodded again, and Hakoda couldn’t tear his gaze away from that scar. The scar that no one in the Fire Nation should have been able to put on a prince, or even get close enough to inflict. The scar that looked awfully like a handprint.

“He... did he do that?” 

Another nod, so minute Hakoda almost missed it, and Zuko looked away again, staring out into the night.

“Why?” His voice cracked a little, because all he could picture was holding a flame to Sokka’s face, trying to understand how a man could even consider doing that to his own child.

“I disrespected him.” Zuko said, clearly trying to keep his voice steady, “Twice.”

“How could he- why would he do that? Nothing is worth burn- doing that to a child!” He managed to keep his voice below yelling level, just barely.

“I spoke out against a general in his war room.” The way he spoke was measured and almost monotonous, and Hakoda guessed he was trying not to feel anything when he told this story. “I was challenged to an Agni Kai and I refused to fight.”

Hakoda had heard of Agni Kais - firebender duels for honour, ending only when one was dead or burned.

“You didn’t fight. And he burned you anyway?”

“It was an act of disrespect. I dishonoured him and his lineage by refusing to defend my own honour.”

Spirits, he felt like he was going to cry. Or throw up. Not here, but maybe later.

“You know that was wrong, right?”  
Far stronger words than ‘wrong’ came to mind: cruel, sadistic, downright fucking evil.

“Yes.” Zuko said, terse and barely audible. “It was cruel and it was wrong.”

The words sounded rehearsed, like he’d needed to be reminded of them. He hoped there had been someone to remind Zuko of that fact. He hoped Zuko had never doubted that what his father had done was wrong.  
Another deeply unpleasant thought surfaced.

“How old were you?”

“Thirteen.”

A year younger than Katara. 

“Can I hug you?” He asked without really thinking, and Zuko looked up at him almost warily. “You can say no, if you don’t want to.”

He got a hesitant nod in response.

“Are you sure?”

Another, more definitive nod.

Toph had been right, firebenders were incredibly warm. Zuko was tense for a few moments, just standing still and letting Hakoda hug him, but he slowly seemed to relax and hesitantly hugged him back. It was almost like the kid wasn’t used to hugging people. 

“I’m sorry,” was all he could think to say, because he still couldn’t quite comprehend the level of cruelty it took to harm a child at thirteen. Zuko’s response was muffled in his shirt.

He wasn’t sure how long it was, still trying to think and figure out what to say, what to do - but eventually Zuko pulled back. When Hakoda could see his face again, all he could think of was the amount of heat it must have taken to do that. Bato’s burns had left him in agony for days while they sought out a healer, and this one looked far deeper. How long had it taken to heal, even to this extent?  
The questions in his head were far too personal, far too invasive to ask. So he settled on the other thing that had been bothering him.

“Can I ask... how did you keep disappearing like that?”

A tiny smile appeared on Zuko’s face, though he still looked embarrassed. He shifted slightly, then slowly pointed up to the ceiling. Hakoda saw... nothing. Just the cracked stone.

“I don’t understand.”

“I, uh, climbed up the walls. Actually I also climbed over the side of the cliff a couple of times. But, yeah, mostly up the walls.”

That did not make any sense.

“But... how?”

That apparently required a demonstration, because Zuko turned and somehow scaled a vertical fucking wall of rock. He jumped up in the corner, pushing off the adjacent wall and using tiny cracks and crevices until he was up at ceiling height, wedged into the corner with an almost shy smile.

Holy shit.

That had to be dangerous, but damn was it impressive. Hakoda was trying not to smile, but he was pretty sure he was failing. 

Then: “wait, did you say you climbed over the side of the cliff?”

“... yes...”

Well, that was admittedly a lot of dedication to avoid an awkward conversation.

———

He was feeling pretty good about it all until he ran into Toph in the hallway.

“I don’t know what your definition of not freaking someone out is, but mine doesn’t involve pushing them off a cliff. Twice.”

**Author's Note:**

> Zuko’s basically a ninja and definitely uses his Blue Spirit skills to avoid conversations he doesn’t want to have.
> 
> I really want to see if anyone catches Toph’s terrible pun...
> 
> I hope you enjoyed reading, feedback and kudos greatly appreciated!
> 
> [Find me on tumblr!](https://koiotic.tumblr.com/)


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